Wow, Have I fallen behind keeping up with this blog. Why? Well, for example, right now I have a two page paper one day overdue that is needing to be written. 
Poor planning and procrastination caught up with me again. However, this is not what I intended to comment on today. Today, God has asked me a question I am having trouble answering: Is it possible to have contentment and still have ambition? 
Hmmmmm....
I would say that it is. Maybe that is just wishful thinking or arrogance, but I do believe there is a way to walk that line. Right now I am as happy as I have ever been with the way my family life, career, and even my educational situation as I have ever been. Yet, there is still so much I want to accomplish. I still have ambitions. These two things do not have to remain mutually exclusive.
The real test is motivation.
Is my ambition tied to the mission God has for my life? If it is then I have nothing to repent of. If not, then I have just made an idol. Anyone who has known me in the past 2 years knows that I am crazy ambitious when it comes to education. I have checked out any and every possible way to get every possible degree. I took the law school entrance exam. I applied to a few doctoral programs while still completing my Seminary work(that I'm still completing). Education became an idol. I still fight it. Ads for schools pop up on the side of everything I do on the internet. It was my drug of choice. Do they have a D.A.R.E. program for that?
I do not have that much schooling, but I have been privy to the inner workings of academia, at least on a limited basis. It was enthralling to me. Dr Soandso, how are you today? Not bad Dr. Suchandsuch, how are you? 1000 students a week captive to your whims. It could definitely be a power trip. I love education. I enjoy school. There is the occasional class that I loathe, and yes I often procrastinate, but only to intensify that rush of having to get the paper done. Nothing would be more boring to me than to finish everything a week ahead of schedule in a class. Not appealing.
The point is that I wanted education for the wrong reasons. I still often say I want to finish a doctorate just to make my brothers call me DR. at thanksgiving. "Russell, would you pass me the mashed potatoes?" "I'm sorry were you talking to me dear brother. That's Dr. Russell to you". I have now found the place where I can have patience and peace with my motivations for education. I still intend to continue through a Doctor of Ministry, but I may not finish it for 10 years and I am okay with that. Before, I wanted degrees and I wanted them now.
The same goes for ministry. If we seek to see people come to Christ to serve our pride, we have just given the devil a huge hold on our lives and endangered the eternity of those who we should be faithfully ministering to. Any desire of our heart that does not come from God can entice us to sin. Anything. I have long since given up the vices
of my youth but trading them for more sophisticated ones does not keep me from sinning. The key is in one word.
Selfishness
Selfish ambition is sin.
Philippians 2:3-Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves
Ambition for the will of God is a blessing.
Matthew 6:33-But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Therein lies the difference. I hope my struggles with ambition can help you with yours. Take captive that ambition and redirect towards God's mission and the world can be changed for the name of Christ.
Bro. Russell
Poor planning and procrastination caught up with me again. However, this is not what I intended to comment on today. Today, God has asked me a question I am having trouble answering: Is it possible to have contentment and still have ambition? Hmmmmm....
I would say that it is. Maybe that is just wishful thinking or arrogance, but I do believe there is a way to walk that line. Right now I am as happy as I have ever been with the way my family life, career, and even my educational situation as I have ever been. Yet, there is still so much I want to accomplish. I still have ambitions. These two things do not have to remain mutually exclusive.
The real test is motivation.
Is my ambition tied to the mission God has for my life? If it is then I have nothing to repent of. If not, then I have just made an idol. Anyone who has known me in the past 2 years knows that I am crazy ambitious when it comes to education. I have checked out any and every possible way to get every possible degree. I took the law school entrance exam. I applied to a few doctoral programs while still completing my Seminary work(that I'm still completing). Education became an idol. I still fight it. Ads for schools pop up on the side of everything I do on the internet. It was my drug of choice. Do they have a D.A.R.E. program for that? I do not have that much schooling, but I have been privy to the inner workings of academia, at least on a limited basis. It was enthralling to me. Dr Soandso, how are you today? Not bad Dr. Suchandsuch, how are you? 1000 students a week captive to your whims. It could definitely be a power trip. I love education. I enjoy school. There is the occasional class that I loathe, and yes I often procrastinate, but only to intensify that rush of having to get the paper done. Nothing would be more boring to me than to finish everything a week ahead of schedule in a class. Not appealing. The point is that I wanted education for the wrong reasons. I still often say I want to finish a doctorate just to make my brothers call me DR. at thanksgiving. "Russell, would you pass me the mashed potatoes?" "I'm sorry were you talking to me dear brother. That's Dr. Russell to you". I have now found the place where I can have patience and peace with my motivations for education. I still intend to continue through a Doctor of Ministry, but I may not finish it for 10 years and I am okay with that. Before, I wanted degrees and I wanted them now.
The same goes for ministry. If we seek to see people come to Christ to serve our pride, we have just given the devil a huge hold on our lives and endangered the eternity of those who we should be faithfully ministering to. Any desire of our heart that does not come from God can entice us to sin. Anything. I have long since given up the vices
of my youth but trading them for more sophisticated ones does not keep me from sinning. The key is in one word.Selfishness
Selfish ambition is sin.
Philippians 2:3-Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves
Ambition for the will of God is a blessing.
Matthew 6:33-But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Therein lies the difference. I hope my struggles with ambition can help you with yours. Take captive that ambition and redirect towards God's mission and the world can be changed for the name of Christ.
Bro. Russell
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